Open Up! Knitting Police!

New York Built's picture

We've got a search warrant for illegal yarn-overs, stash violations and row-outs in garter stitch. Put the needles down, your hands behind your back, stand against the wall and spread 'em!

Read this textile trash his rights, O'Malley, and search him for acrylics...I can smell a synth user a mile away.

Book him on a 3124, violations of the UN Year of Natural Fiber Unnatural Acts and Fibers code. INTER-PLY, the Police for Local Yarn violations has been following this guy for months.

Take his sorry frayed ass out of here.

Comments

FiberKevin's picture

I still love you, ya big

I still love you, ya big nut! Let's get together SOON please? I miss you Mark! -Kevin

Kilted Knitter's picture

You are to funny and very

You are to funny and very sexy!!

mrossnyc's picture

Funny post. Is that a rubber

Funny post. Is that a rubber sheet you're standing on? I've heard they can be good for certain activities.

New York Built's picture

Organic, yes. Rubber, no.

Organic, yes. Rubber, no. Those are leather sheets. I use them for all kinds of activities, and I have an article I'm working on for Martha Stewart's magazine, called "Leather Or Not?" Sweat, oil, cigar ashes and spills clean right up in a jiffy.

mrossnyc's picture

Sounds interesting, I'm sure

Sounds interesting, I'm sure that she and her readers would love to have that information. I don't think she covered cleaning leather sheets in her housecleaning book. I'll have to check. Although if everyone starts using leather sheets, it might decrease the need for knitted afghans and blankets...

Happy pride!

steve kadel's picture

yes, sir. i don't mean to

yes, sir. i don't mean to be any trouble. should i stand like...this?

all i know of love, is love is all there is

Crafty Andy's picture

Visit Crafty Andy's Blog

Visit Crafty Andy's Blog
You are very sexy and very funny!

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

As I said in the Shout Box a

As I said in the Shout Box a few days ago (missing your reply, if any) - 'Great sense of humor and a great knitter.' ROFLMHO [Quite a photo, BTW.]-- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

New York Built's picture

I was and I am honored.

I was and I am honored.

BuduR's picture

knitting police? I am

knitting police? I am soooooo screwed.

MWK's Token Estrogen-American

fuzzed's picture

And not in the good way...

And not in the good way...

BuduR's picture

I know :( just my

I know :( just my luck.

MWK's Token Estrogen-American

New York Built's picture

No, Special Forces in the

No, Special Forces in the Faroe Islands, Australia, the Cashmere, Peru and other fiber hot spots in the world. I love enforcement and putting knitting scum behind bars.

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends."
– Francis Bacon

Were you trained by the

Were you trained by the Guardia in Spain?