a guy that i was really interested in just packed up and moved to south carolina, and i was trying to console his best friend/room mate who turns out to be his fucking boyfriend
i find all this out from the boyfriend instead of the guy himself
i'm just so fuckin tired of being dicked around. every single fuckin guy i've met this year has played fuckin games with me and i'm really fucking tired of it. tired of being the one who's always understanding. who tries to see both sides of things, and tries to see where the other's coming from, and yet *I* get shit on.
this is the type of fucked up bullshit that throws me into the self destructive person i am/can be.
here's a history for 2008 up until november 18th, 2008:
#1 felt that he needed space, and couldnt handle the stress (that HE caused on himself) of a relationship, plus ft work and ft school. took me 3 months to get over him
#2 disappeared without a word or trace for 4 months, then came back and tells me how much he loves me, etc. etc, and tries his damnedest to get back with me, then disappears AGAIN
#3 decides after spending a day and a half with me that he's going to give things a try with this guy who's supposed to be his "friend", who just moved to FUCKING WASHINGTON DC!!!!
#4 we dated for a while but discovered that we were not as compatible as we would've liked, and then act like everything is so fucking awkward now, but is inflicting any awkwardness on his own self
#5 says that we're to incongruent because of the people who i'm friends with, and because of my religious beliefs, and how that may affect some unknown event at some unforseen time in the future
#6 is #1 who wants to give things another shot with me because he misses me and realizes he fucked up. and finally when i say yes, we can try again. but ask: "what happens when you go back to school in the fall, where does that leave me" just drops the entire fucking subject. scuse me...was i supposed to be your summer play toy?!
#7 decides to meet me on a date, we fuck, and he goes lookin for a job as an OTR (on the road) trucker and ignores me
#8 spends a full 2 days with me, is perfect and head over heels for me the first night, long talks and makeout sessions before he heads home. picks me up the next day an is completely and utterly distant from me, then bitches that he has to drive me all the way back home to south jersey from new hope, pa... yet the fucker knew this well before he chose to invite me to go along with him! every time i asked him weeks and months later if he still wanted to see me, it was always "yeah but i've been busy with work, etc" and this was back in july that we had our date...i finally let him go completely in september
#9 we spend a fantastic amount of time talking online and on the phone. we finally meet up and go to the bar down the street, yeah, we got a little drunk, but head back to my place to call it a night. we're having a great time in person until he brings up a subject thats extremely touchy and doesn't like my response. that kills everything right then and there. immediately. then doesnt understand what i mean when i ask him "why does it feel like i'll never see or hear from you again" that was mid august. saw him at another bar and he couldn't even acknowledge me
#10 is great. and all around great guy....who is moving to puerto vallarta. actually, he's moved there already
#11 is a guy i met who is my age...strange for me, i know. we're so in sync it's not funny... too good to be true sometimes. but everythings going great. i even had a dream about this boy months ago. we set a date to meet on a friday, and on tuesday he tells me his dad's in the hospital because he hurt his back, so he has to cancel friday night. and i'm like "ok, well, it's tuesday and we're supposed to meet FRIDAY! but whatever. friday comes and pass and i hear nothing from him whatsoever.
#12 is south carolina boy mentioned at the beginning of the post
#13 is #2 who wants to give 100%, BUT THEN SURPRISE! HE'S OFF AND DISAPPEARED AGAIN!