Just venting

YugiDean's picture

Sorry for the non-knitting related post, but I need to vent, and no one ever reads my LiveJournal blog. LOL

My main squeeze was promoted a few months ago to a position that is giving him the opportunity to travel a lot, and I was (and am) excited that he is having the level of success that he is. But he's been in South America for nearly three weeks and won't be back for almost another week. Then I found out today that he'll be leaving for another trip down there about TEN DAYS after he gets back!!! And that next trip will be about as long as this one's been. ARGH! It's highly unlikely that a time will come in the near future wherein he will be home as long or longer than he's been away.

This just sucks. *sigh*

Thanx for listening...er...reading.


scubasinger's picture

You're getting plenty of

You're getting plenty of good support and you certainly have mine as well. Though I've never had that situation happen to me, I've had plenty of friends who have. And sometimes guys just make it work. I know one male couple, one of whom sings with me in the local gay men's chorus. They've been together 20 years, 18 of them with one partner living on the opposite side of the state, about 4 hours away. They had separate houses, etc. but just got together on weekends and made it work.

Another couple, one partner was a musician hired to rehearse/direct shows at amusement parks all over the country. He'd spend 9 months at some Six Flags, then be home for 3 months or so. Then he'd be gone again for six months, then back. Again, they made it work.

So it is possible. Just explore and see what works for you guys.

On a lighter note, I laughed my ass off at your description of the webcam purchase. "Oooo, shiny!!!" I have had SOOOOOOOOOOO many of those myself. I was just out shopping a few minutes ago and several times had to remind myself, "No, Vic, you absolutely do NOT need that!!!!"

It's how I wound up with the entire 5 season set of dvds for Babylon 5. Now I ask you: How many freaking times do I honestly expect to watch those???? But I have them sitting on my shelf. Another "Oooo, shiny!"

YugiDean's picture

I purchased the Chosen

I purchased the Chosen Collection of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In my defense, however, I have watched all seven seasons straight through at LEAST three or four times. LOL I'm sooooooo geeky. Now...some of the other TV show DVDs........Heh...not so much.

MMario's picture

the entire 5 season set of

the entire 5 season set of dvds for Babylon 5.

also known as "research materials"

MMario - ambiguity is cultivated, it doesn't happen in a vacuum!

teejtc's picture

What an awful bummer....

What an awful bummer.... Hope all goes well (oh, and don't worry about the OT... I don't think any of us mind.) :-)

Grace and Peace,

YugiDean's picture

Danke schoen for listening.

Danke schoen for listening. :-)

MMario's picture

Even 10 years ago the level

Even 10 years ago the level of communication available to people traveling was far less then it is today. It probably doesn't help much, but e-mail, etc makes sepration much easier.

Any way you can plan on a video session once a week or so? The euiptment to do so on the internet isn't that expensive.

MMario - ambiguity is cultivated, it doesn't happen in a vacuum!

YugiDean's picture

that's a good idea. I

that's a good idea. I think I have a webcam buried somewhere. LOL I bought it ages ago at Target and never used it. One of those, "Oooo, Shiny!" purchases from my less-fiscally-responsible days. LOL Maybe it'll come in handy! Thanx for the idea.

Elemmaciltur's picture

You'll be just fine....and

You'll be just fine....and don't worry about venting here. :-)

If you give me your LJ, I'll add you to my flist.

"Je suis moi et personnes d'autres, et non tout ce que les autres peuvent en penser ou en dire parce qu'ils ignorent qui je suis."

YugiDean's picture

Yugidean :-) I actually

Yugidean :-)

I actually bought a shirt that I occassionally wear that says, "Nobody reads my blog" in honor of my LiveJournal account. LOL

Elemmaciltur's picture

I just added you on my Flist

I just added you on my Flist (I'm Fanelendil on LJ - and I know that I haven't been updating LJ at all. :-p )

chado1982's picture

No need to apologize for the

No need to apologize for the non-knitting post. We should all be here to support each other. After all, we have to help keep each other knitting away like busy little bees... ~_^

I have had a similar experience with my partner and I know that it can get really lonely while your other half is far away. It’s rough; there’s really no sugar-coating it. I have found that it helps to make some good friends to whom you can turn to distract you from the loneliness. It also helps to talk to your partner often both while he’s at home and while he’s gone; communication really is the key to making a great relationship. Beyond that, try to keep yourself busy - knit!! I’m just a beginner and I already find knitting to be very therapeutic.

Anyway, I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough time. I hope that you can find your way through to the other side with as little anguish as possible and as many scarves as possible ^_^

YugiDean's picture

I appreciate the

I appreciate the encouragement. My work schedule doesn't help much (I work evenings), but I've accummulated a couple of weekend-buddies to hang with.

Yeah, seriously, dude -- I

Yeah, seriously, dude -- I pretty much think everyone is here for you, man! That really sucks, and I know it feels good to vent about it, believe me! I mean, I've been through some tough times, and nothing felt better than talking about it to a close friend. Before long, I was joking and laughing about my suffering and anguish -- I dunno, it can be cathartic!

All that to say, if you ever need to talk or even just vent or anything, I know that I definately don't mind...there's no telling when I'll do the same, ya know?

Take it easy, bud!

YugiDean's picture

Yeah. most of the ppl on

Yeah. most of the ppl on here are spectacular. :-) Yeah, my friends are happy to lend an ear, and I'm sure we'll be joking and laughing about it too, before long. Thanx for the offer. :-)

rjcb3's picture

For what it's worth... My

For what it's worth...

My grandfather was a ship-building foreman at Bath Iron Works in Bath, Maine; that position led him to travel all over the country for long periods of time. My father was a ship builder for a while, but also a dedicated truck driver, as was three of my uncles.

We were a very big family and all of us kids were raised by all of the adults equally...and we certainly felt the loss of the menfolk when they travelled for work.

Their physical distances weren't as far away as yours is, but sometimes the time frame between homecomings is...and I certainly know that all too well.

I can't say that I, personally, have had the experience of being the significant other, but, the absence of the person still sucks just the same...and that's what I grew up knowing.

...best thing to do is try to keep communications as best you can and then make the best of the homecomings.

Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but, then again, that doesn't mean a thing to hear, when you're the one feeling the loss of someone. Just be aware of the absence and when he returns, let him know how much you missed him and fill that void as much as you can.

...and while he's gone and you're feeling frustrated, do what any other yarn and needle obsessed knitter does: cast on and knit...knit what? knit ANYTHING...just cast on and do it. Make something for him. Make something for yourself. Make something for someone else or give it away for charity. Cast on a solid colour and just knit round and round and round for a plain and simple un-exciting raglan pullover...just to knit. Each stitch-by-stitch becomes almost like a mantra or a prayer or something of that sort. You'll find that when you knit your frustrations into the fabric, everything evens out in the end...and you have something beautiful to show for it.

It's a heck of a lot cheaper than a shrink, and you won't have to worry that your words might fall on deaf ears.

I can't speak for anyone else, but, I don't mind if you vent away; I'll listen and say my piece if it helps you. My own personal opinion is that just because this is a knitting "group" "site" "place" (whatever you want to call it) doesn't mean that we don't have feelings and that we can't make friends...and sometimes need a virtual shoulder once in a while.


YugiDean's picture

That all sounds really

That all sounds really rough. For me, the physical distance is really irrelevent, you know? Even if it was just halfway across the state, it would still be tough to just not be able to see him. Oh well. He comes home in a couple of days, so I will just make the most of the week-and-a-half that he'll be home. That's the best thing to do, I think. :-)

VillageKnittiot's picture

Absence does not always make

Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. I am on the opposite side of that coin. My job also requires (not as much as before) a lot of travel. My longest trip was 21 weeks. (Korea, Japan, South Carolina, Germany and Puerto Rico). The two things that come into play most. Trust and Communication. Although I am currently single, many of my co-workers are carrying on healthy relationships. We're typically gone about a month or two, tops. Luckily my company knows that there are such things as spouses and other halves and will keep that in consideration when scheduling. There is still some sacrifice on both you and your "main squeeze's" part, so you make what time you get, quality time.

Best to you and yours, hang in there and maybe he'll bring you home a llama.


YugiDean's picture

A 21-week trip? OMG...that

A 21-week trip? OMG...that would way suck. LOL That actually makes me feel better...three weeks as compared to 21 weeks? Yes, I can live with that, for sure.

nathanieladamlibra's picture

Are you at all in the

Are you at all in the position to travel with him a bit. I don't mean to be grim but this will only get harder. Take it from a former Broadway show touring hairdresser! You have to sit down and talk, look at your finances and make careful plans about how to see each other. Then stick to the plan. Otherwise somewhere down the line a choice will have to be made. Jobs come and go but loves don't! Yikes did I really say that!

YugiDean's picture

Unfortunately not. I only

Unfortunately not. I only recently started my job, so I haven't much paid time off built up. On top of that, his job is so unexpected that it would be a triple pain in the ass to try to keep my flights even with his. It's okay, though. i don't think I'd want to be away from my friends and my job for that long, anyway....not that I want to be away from HIM that long, either... Sucking it up! :-)

Andy's picture

Vent away! I guess you and

Vent away!

I guess you and he need to talk things through when he gets back. Oh, and while he's down there, get him to check out all the artisan markets for yarn and textiles, etc.

If you lose your head while all around are keeping theirs, then they're a bunch of .......

"Midnight shakes the memory as a madman shakes a dead geranium."

YugiDean's picture

LOL He was totally trying

LOL He was totally trying to find them! He just couldn't remember the Spanish word for "yarn," until a couple of days ago. I doubt he'll have much free time between now and when he comes home, but now that he knows the word, he can hunt down some kick-ass South American yarn next time. :-)