Deleted my post

Thunderhorse54's picture

I've deleted my post on the problem I was having with two patterns. Someone decided to elevate their ego by making me feel stupid. I have since ripped apart BOTH sweaters and am using the yarn to crochet potholders. I guess that teaches me NOT to ask for help on here.

Terry.

Comments

Thunderhorse54's picture

I really want to thank

I really want to thank everyone here for the encouraging and uplifting words. Especially one who sent me personal emails. I am back and have picked up my knitting again. I will do my best to ignore AND dismiss the negativity. It came from only one person.

And I apologize to everyone else on here for my childish behavior. I'll do my utmost best to not let it happen again. E-hugs to everyone, especially the one, you know who you are.

Terry.

MMario's picture

It's not childish behavior.

It's not childish behavior. Despite the nursery rhyme, words *CAN* hurt; and often leave wounds that take longer to heal then any physical injury.

I'm VERY glad you are back.

New York Built's picture

I suffered for years from

I suffered for years from PTSD by the psychological torture of words. I add my hearty welcome back, Terry!

michaelpthompson's picture

Don't let anybody discourage

Don't let anybody discourage or intimidate you Terry. I have found that the best antidote for negative vibes is an overwhelming wave of positive vibes. In radio, we used to call that the signal to noise ratio. You can't always eliminate the noise, but the more signal you put out, the better the ratio and the less noticeable is the noise.

ksmarguy's picture

I have not been on the site

I have not been on the site for quite awhile but something made me get on today and I saw this posting, it made me sad because this group of men and women are awesome, I have made so many friends on this site, some that I have never met in real life but who are no less important to me. I even met my fiancé on here (the question and ring came this week so it's an official engagement). I agree with everyone else, don't let this person get to you too much, they are the idiot. We are a group of brothers and sisters that help each other, joke, cry occasionally, laugh, and have a great time. I hope that seeing all these responses helps you realize that the one bad apple has not spoiled the barrel.

MMario's picture

Best wishes and

Best wishes and congratulations to you both!

BuduR's picture

I don't come here much

I don't come here much anymore. Mostly after being berated for being a woman on a man's board. Of course it was in private. I have to wonder if it's the same person now.

Terry, I learned more, and gained more confidence in my knitting from these "guys living in my computer" then I ever did from anyone else. They still encourage, teach and enlighten me (probably without knowing it since my name on Ravelry is different than it is here)

I'm going to start coming around more. Every day if you will all have me back again. If for no other reason than to piss off this person who seems to think bullying and being mean to my boys is ok. It's not. Real men are kind and understanding, 12 year old boys hide behind their computers and bully people.

Bill's picture

WONDERFUL to have you

WONDERFUL to have you back!!!
....and yes, you were probably harassed by the same "know-it-all" the rest of us have heard from...
Hugs,

BuduR's picture

You know, I stalk many of you

You know, I stalk many of you on Ravelry. ^^ I'm Irkalla over there. I earburn MMario fairly often to blame him for my love of knitting lace.

KenInMaine's picture

I wanted to let you know that

I wanted to let you know that I just added you on Ravelry. So nice to see you on here as well!

BuduR's picture

Thank you! and I added you to

Thank you! and I added you to my list of "My Boys" I have a very real affection for most of the men here.

Crafty Andy's picture

HI there, make sure you tell

HI there, make sure you tell Darrel who is that person, we don't appreciate bullies, we are a men website, but we have never denied women membership. Everyone should be treated with respect and if they don't like it here, there are plenty of places they can be.

BuduR's picture

Andy ^^ Keep wearing those

Andy ^^ Keep wearing those kilts and I'll never leave.
The problem is, my brain only has 512 mb of memory so I'm pretty selective with what I'm willing to remember. The name of someone who is being a jerk isn't high on that list and all my old messages are gone. So unless I get another message or see them say something that reminds me, I can't say for sure who it is.

Men in kilts get a spot in my permanent memory file however.

Bill's picture

You're in my "friends"...

You're in my "friends"...

BuduR's picture

yup ^^ Since the day I joined

yup ^^ Since the day I joined over there. Makes it easier to see what you're up to :p

MMario's picture

It's good to "see" you again!

It's good to "see" you again!

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

Please do not let a few bad

Please do not let a few bad experiences keep you from posting what you create or asking for help in solving a problem. For the most part, we are all very supportive of one another and are more than willing to help anyone who has a problem. You do great knitting and I - for my part - value the input of the vast majority of my friends here at MWK. Occasionally, though, that means ignoring the negative comments. Which can be hard to do, I admit, until I balance it against the positive input from the majority. Those comments win out every time.

AKQGuy's picture

What I am seeing here is a

What I am seeing here is a theme, and I think we need to put a stop to it. So I am proposing that we start reporting these pm's to the site admin. This guy is obviously ruining this site for some and I think the admin would be interested. To do this simply copy the text and send it to darrel@menwhoknit.com and let him know what is going on. Maybe if enough of us have issues, his rights to use the site can be modified.

I will go through my old messages and see if I can find any of these old messages. I doubt it as I tend to discard trash, but you never know.

I am not condoning e-attacking this person and/or his work on this site though the evil part of me sees the attraction to land blasting him. However, I do think we should start directing his nastiness to the admin to possibly have it ended. I think this online community is losing some great players and input because of one persons ego.

Crafty Andy's picture

I agree. Let me tell you the

I agree. Let me tell you the guy is a tall sack of sadness. I say don't let yourself be bullied and speak up, tell him what you think about his bulling behavior. He does not post much here, and I guess his life is very empty. I know one thing is true about life, Karma always gets you, good or bad you get what you put into the Karma Bank. I am sure he is left wondering if we can get him banned from here or not, do we dare? I really can care less about him, but I don't like his bully behavior to people that are starting the trade. As far as teaching people the craft he has the talent of A Ferengi in a Klingon School of Art.lol

ronhuber's picture

I really do think we need

I really do think we need "Like" buttons here. hahahaha

Bill's picture

Andy...you are beyond

Andy...you are beyond wonderful!

Bill's picture

I only have one...from 2011.

I only have one...from 2011.
The guy doesn't seem to realize we have absolutely no respect for his opinions!

gardenguy42's picture

Thank you. I agree

Thank you. I agree completely. I don't save my old messages so I have nothing to help you out but if he attacks me again I will forward it to darrel.

I miss the many who used to post here but suddenly stopped. I wonder how many men he chased off?

xtophercb's picture

well now i'm just too

well now i'm just too curious... having gotten some less than helpful/best intent replies to posts as well. and that's with only being on here about 3 years and only intermittently at that... then again, i've noticed this with more than just a few crafters... experience breeding ego, and it's not helpful when all one needs is some basic direction. i guess it's comforting? to know others have been in the same boat, although that still doesn't make it less of a sting when it happens...

gardenguy42's picture

I believe I too have received

I believe I too have received one of those private poison pen comments from this person. If I remember it rightly, he berated me for posting a picture of something that I had not yet blocked because he claimed it was misleading to inexperienced knitters.

My first instinct was to tell him to f- off. I was angry but then I realized that anyone with an ego that large must be suffering from some really deep insecurities so I just deleted the message without responding.

There's too much beautiful wool in the world that's waiting to be knitted and crocheted for me to waste my time with someone like him. I wish him well, nonetheless, and I urge you to resist destroying your knitting over someone's negative response. I certainly enjoy your postings.

hsfg's picture

I also have been absent

I also have been absent because of that person!

KenInMaine's picture

I have also felt the sting of

I have also felt the sting of some rude and less than friendly comments, things that made me think: what in the world brought that on? Frankly, it sucks to be called out on or reprimanded about something you're eager to share, or with which you need help. For me personally, it has sapped a lot of the fun out of participating on MWK. It's sad how one person can sour something as wonderful as this overwhelmingly supportive online community. However, seeing that it's not just me and that many of you have run into the same thing certainly puts things in perspective. So Terry, please know that it's nothing to do with you. We all support you and look forward to seeing more of your knitting!

michaelpthompson's picture

Just out of curiosity,

Just out of curiosity, especially Q and Mark, is this the same person we discussed at the MRMKR?

AKQGuy's picture

I believe so, yes.

I believe so, yes.

AKQGuy's picture

And here I wish I had an

And here I wish I had an "agree" button like on Ravelry, or better, a "hallelujah" button to push in each of the people who have responded because I have nothing better to say than what has been said Terry. You do beautiful work, simple as that. Don't let someone else tell you differently. Especially when that person shows very little of their own work and what has been shown, is fairly unimpressive. To be the expert they consider themselves I expect gorgeous work, every time. I am sorry I didn't see your original post to see if it was something I could try to answer.

I can tell you that I too have had private messages from this person. I myself have simply chosen to step back from this site because I'm tired of this person. I still read many of the postings but skip over anything written by this airbag. I occasionally respond to things I see but rarely make posts of my own. If it helps at all I wrote a blog post on my own blog about this interaction. It might make you feel better... http://akqguy.blogspot.com/2011/07/he-gets-on-my-nerves-like-sand-in.html

Don't give up. Your awesome just the way you are, and so is your knitting.

KenInMaine's picture

Well said, Q.

Well said, Q.

I miss your posts and

I miss your posts and photographs on this site.

ilhiker's picture

Well said, Q!

Well said, Q!

ilhiker's picture

You're awesome, Terry, and

You're awesome, Terry, and that's MY expert opinion! :)

Bill's picture

Welcome to the club, Terry!

Welcome to the club, Terry!
We have all been criticized by this "expert"...and always by private message
Hang in there...most of us are very nice and helpful people!

You've posted really fine

You've posted really fine work. Please don't let internet postings discourage you. Keep up the beautiful work.

MMario's picture

*PLEASE* do not let one

*PLEASE* do not let one person drive you away. There are MANYY people here who would be pleased to help you with any problems and do it with courtesy.

I'm sure I know who this

I'm sure I know who this person of superior intellect and knitting knowledge is, and I would say to you don't let him get to you. I don't recall seeing any of his handiwork. On the other hand I have been amazed at what I have learned from reading posts on this site. I have always found the members to be most helpful and encouraging, and not given to making anyone feel small. Please don't let one sour person put you off this wonderful site, Best wishes with your next project.

ronhuber's picture

I am sorry, too, that you had

I am sorry, too, that you had a bad experience. Also sorry that I couldn't help you with the patterns. I was taught to knit by my mother who never used patterns and am not able to follow them very well. I once looked at a sock pattern and could not understand anything past "CO 72 stitches". I try to knit a pair of socks every month but would not be able to tell anyone how to do it.
It takes all kinds to make the world go around. I have received some very negative comments about some of my work but always through private messaging. It is a common occurence these days with the internet that people with severe problems can bash people that they would never have the courage to do in person or in an open forum - always through the private messaging. I quess we can refuse to let his problem become ours and really feel sorry for him. What happened in his life to make him feel this insecure? Quite odd, too, that this expert has only displayed 2 or 3 articles that he knit in the six years I have been part of this forum.
However, all of this does not help you and the problem you had. I certainly know that I could not have helped you but I am sure eventually someone else would have. Maybe you could re-post about the difficulty you were having and even if you don't care to try the pattern again right now - you might in the future or their explanation could help you with other pattern instructions. Sometimes our lives get busy and we lose contact with this site. I know that I have gone for a month or more without checking in. Maybe that special person who could have helped you with the instructions just didn't log on in the time frame you topic was up.
Hope you don't tar us all with same brush, Terry. Many people have given me great adivice here.

Crafty Andy's picture

Ron I bet he is the same

Ron I bet he is the same person that I am talking about, he has not much to show for all the criticizing he does. lol

ronhuber's picture

I am sure it is the same

I am sure it is the same person, Andy.

Crafty Andy's picture

Sorry to hear that Terry.

Sorry to hear that Terry. Something like that happened to me a few years back, maybe about 7 years, yep I still remember the well intentioned dunce that is still here. I took my time and told the fellow to go and pick on someone else. He actually wrote me personally. Don't let anyone play with words. You should post anything you want about craftying and not craftying. We are a very open minded group. Some people here think they own the website, but in reality I know the owner personally and the managers and they will not treat you that way I have ripped apart sweaters and made the yarn into cakes again and re-knitted or re-crocheted stuff. Don't let anyone get the best out of you, you have the right to feel anyway you want. Don't give your power away to these jerks. As I get older one thing is for sure, I am not going to let anyone bully me. Anyway , just don't let that experience discourage you, there are lots of great guys and gals in this website that give great advise. Sometimes the best advise is to rip something, but that's ok too. CHat with you later, Andy.