Dating!

nathanieladam's picture

Is it a horrible thing to want to meet a guy who knits and crochets? Hmmm... There needs to be a single section. I sometimes feel embarrassed to tell a a date that I knit and crochet. They never seem to get it or make assumptions about who I am. Maybe its just living in New York. The reason I bring this up is that I realize more and more that wether you are a brilliant fiber artist or not, wether your running off the most difficult of Alice Starmore's design or crocheting friends pot holders and dishcloths, Knitting and Crocheting is very much a lifestyle.

Comments

nathanieladam's picture

Thanks for all the sweet

Thanks for all the sweet comments guys!!!

PieintheSky88's picture

It can sometimes be a

It can sometimes be a challenge, especially in NYC where people are so prepossessed with images and fitting in, but I've met some great guys who enjoyed that I knit. My boyfriend now loves it (I just finished gloves for his birthday, which is today, Annie Watts' "Fightin' Words" on Ravelry) and actually encourages me to work on cool projects. As everyone's already said, don't be afraid to show your true colors- you can't fall in love with a 2-dimensional idea of someone. There are a lot of guys who are very open to knitting, and who knows? Maybe you can make a date of teaching him to knit =P

Best,
Joe

nathanieladam's picture

OMG you totally get it! NYC!

OMG you totally get it! NYC!

vsidart's picture

Don't give up hope-! When

Don't give up hope-! When you're least expecting it, it'll surprise you!

I met my WONDERFUL husband right here on MWK three years ago, and we just bought a house together!

Blessings are never expected!

Good luck!

Britannic's picture

Nathaniel, I know exactly

Nathaniel, I know exactly what you mean and as I've learned and as others have said, if someone is going to judge you solely because you knit then that is not someone you want to be dating anyway. Judgmental people won't stop at just criticizing about one thing. I've learned that I really do not care what other people think of me and what I do or what I'm doing. It's really none of my business what's going on in someone else's head. It only becomes my business when it results in some kind of action being taken that will come to have an effect on me. Until then, I ignore them.

As for meeting other gay men who knit, it's been difficult. There are not many where I live in this area of NY. At least you're in or near NYC (based on what I saw in your Facebook page [ps, sent you a friend request while I was too!]), where you probably have a greater chance of meeting another gay man who knits. There is a new knitting group starting up about 30-45 minutes north of me at the LGBTQ Center, so, maybe I'll get luck and meet someone there!

In any event, good lucky with the knitting and the search for romance. Keep us posting on both fronts!

ILHIKER's picture

Hi Nathaniel, First, welcome

Hi Nathaniel,

First, welcome to MWK. This is a terrific site. You will learn so much from the men who frequent here. I know I have.
Regarding your dilemma, I find learning new things about people endlessly fascinating. My wife and I just celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary yesterday. We are still learning things about each other, although at age 58 some of those new things are aches and pains that weren't there when we were in our 20s. I suppressed my desire to knit up until 2 years ago and casually mentioned it to my wife. As is typical of her, she contacted my son and together they researched what a beginning knitter could use, went shopping at Knit Picks, and for my birthday I was presented with a huge box of yarns, needles, and all sorts of other knitting paraphernalia, most of which I never knew existed. The funny thing is that for about a month, I only knitted in my office, not in front of my wife or son. It took me longer to overcome my shyness to knit openly than it took for them to accept and encourage me. Silly me.

We are who we are. Making accommodations, adjustments, and concessions for others is all part of the loving process. If a ball of yarn and some knitting needles turn a relationship into a tangled mess (you know, the kind that you end up just saying "f**k it" and throwing it away), then that's not the relationship you need or want in your life. If, on the other hand, you have a tangled mess of yarn and your significant other wants to sit patiently with you and help you unwind things so you have a clearer path to creativity and a loving life, then that's the person you want to snag.

Don't lose yourself in the needs and wants of others. They need and respect the man that you are, with all your flaws and polish, not the man that you think they want you to be. I found someone who adds new depth to my life, as well as values the depth I bring to her life. I look for those same values in friends. I can't imagine living my life any differently. I am so enamored with the men I have met on this site because they are true to their own passions, at least when it comes to knitting and crocheting. I have learned so much about being comfortable and casual with the fiber arts now that I have begun knitting for others and find that they are incredibly receptive...either that or they just like the free stuff I make them out of good wool!

Wow...I certainly climbed up on a pretty tall pile of soap boxes for those "purls" of wisdom. They come from the heart. I hope I have helped.

Be well!
Mark

superi's picture

Hi Nathanieladam, you may

Hi Nathanieladam, you may want to try the queer singles group on ravelry. Also being in NY, there has to be a men's knitting group around some where, I bet. Though I don't know wether I'd want a SO that knitted or crotcheted. Granted, I'd probably teach them at some point, but then they might start looking at my stash. lol

nathanieladam's picture

LOL! Thanks

LOL! Thanks

scottly's picture

My husband thought it was

My husband thought it was cool when we first met - he told all of his freinds. Good husband material always likes talent and skill .... on any level. ;-)

YarnGuy716's picture

He was definitely a keeper

He was definitely a keeper :-)

YarnGuy716's picture

But then he might only want

But then he might only want you for your stash! I readily admit I am a handful, and the knitting and fiber hobbies are only a part of it. If they can't handle that then they certainly can't handle me. :-)

bobinthebul's picture

I think if someone likes you,

I think if someone likes you, then the knitting shouldn't be such a big deal. I don't always talk about it on the first date, but if things take off (for however far that may be), I've never had anybody turn around and run because I've got a sock on the needles. There are lots of things someone might not "get," or appreciate...Turkish music, banjo playing, having a fondness for raising squash are just a few of mine. But give them a little time...

nathanieladam's picture

Okay I'm now picturing you

Okay I'm now picturing you playing Turkish music on your banjo while making a squash casserole. LOL!!! I think I'm a bore in comparison!!!

bobinthebul's picture

Funny. :) I just recently

Funny. :) I just recently talked to someone online who responded to a profile, he lives in the nearby town of İzmit. We started chatting and after establishing that both of us were interested in more than the basest mechanical relations (an unfortunately serious issue here) the conversation moved to other things. Turns out we're both into nature and especially plants. I haven't brought up the banjo yet. :) But he was trying to quit smoking, and I mentioned a friend of mine who knit several kilometers of scarves to try and stop thinking about cigarettes. All of her friends got a scarf except me, because she fell off the wagon before getting to mine. So I decided I could make one myself and started knitting. His reaction: At first he laughed, then said "well...actually, last year, I really got possessed with the idea of knitting patterned stuff. I was so obsessed that I even thought about it in the bathroom. :) But I didn't have anyone to show me, and tried from a book but just got so confused that I gave up."

So I guess I'll just have to teach him. Sigh. :)

steve kadel's picture

eHarmonyknit.com :)

eHarmonyknit.com :)