Confessions of a Knitaholic

MitchPR08's picture

So I think I’m addicted to either yarn or shopping or both. My reasoning behind this is as follows, I really can’t afford to go out and buy up the entire yarn store, or much less any more yarn, I have all the yarn I need, I’m good in the yarn dept. But when I go into an LYS…I really can’t help myself. It’s like I see all the different shades, colours and weights of the yarn and I come up with a reason to have it. Not just yarn, but various items, trinkets, souvenirs, electronics, clothes, knitting books. Today I was on my lunch break at work, walked by my LYS and just had to go in. Why did I need to go in? I don’t know, I have plenty of yarn and supplies at home for my sweater, I don’t NEED any of this stuff. Nonetheless I bought some wool wash, blocking pins, and stitch markers. I have two of those three things already and I really only “needed” the wool wash. Before yesterday I was in Berlin, and I went into a yarn store and bought two skeins of some bulky weight yarn and a German book on Norwegian style knitting. Why? I don’t know, I remember when I bought it I thought I would have a use for it but now I haven’t the slightest idea why I would need it. On Saturday I was in Prague and ended up buying a hank of sock yarn and some 2.5mm dpns (how I managed that I have no idea, because I don’t speak a word of Czech) I’m not even planning on knitting socks, but now I suppose I should in order to make use of the yarn. I mean I know I’ve always been a bit of an compulsive shopper but since I started knitting its gotten worse. I blow through projects in a few days and move on to the next one, and I dont know if its just that Im a fast knitter or subconciously I just cant wait to go yarn shopping again. Also, since I have lost 60 pounds and I can fit into nicer clothes now, it’s REALLY bad when I go into a department store. After going crazy in the souvenir shop in Prague, the yarn shop in Prague and a bar in Prague and just going all sorts of crazy in Berlin. As a result, I’m officially poor until my return to the states in July. Is anyone else this addicted (to yarn and knitting supplies, not the clothes), because I feel I need someone to come and cut up my bank card, and sedate me because I’m afraid I’ll walk past a store on the way home tonight after work and decide I need to pick something up…you know…for that, cat sweater that I plan on making….someday.

Comments

TheKnittingMill's picture

Dear, dear Mitch... I

Dear, dear Mitch...

I realize you are a fairly new knitter and a youngster, but there are a few knitting rules you really need to know:

1. "I have all the yarn I need" --Good Lord Man! Are you insane?? I don't ever want to hear or read something so vial or wretched come out of your mouth or typed on your computer ever again! If so, I will be forced to fly to Germany myself and beat you with a wire coat hanger sock blocker.

2. Just when you think you surely have enough packages of blocking pins you will inevitably end up attempting to block one of MMario's shawl patterns with 2 trillion stitches in the last round and realize you need at least a couple of hundred more.

3. If you find a sock yarn you like, BUY IT! You will certainly go through many,many pair in your life and will wisely discover it's one of the most versatile yarns out there as you can also knit hats, mittens, scarves, shawls, vests and lightweight sweaters with it (just to name a few).

Now, speaking in reference to your "shopping addiction"--first let me state that I know not of your sexual orientation. However, if you are indeed a gay man you should know that while you may have been given your temporary learner's permit, you're not even eligible for the toaster oven until you have maxed out at least 3 credit cards and lived beyond your means for no less than 5 years! Did you even READ the manual?

Tom Hart's picture

Man, Mill, you have REALLY

Man, Mill, you have REALLY hit a nerve here. Kids coming out these days just don’t realize that there are procedures to be followed and hoops to be jumped through. They seem to think, “Hey, it’s a free country. I can fall in love with the boy next door if I want. I don’t need to sign up anywhere.” We realize that’s just crazy talk of course, but they don’t. But then again if we’re honest we’ve really got to admit that it’s not just the kids. Who among us can truthfully say, “Yes, I actually DO have a queer card in my wallet; would you like to see it?” (I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t. I think I’m going to have some printed up though. I know a lot of people who would take one.) And the census. Next time on the ethnic question I’m going to check “other” and write in gay. But don’t get me started!

OMG you mean that since I've

OMG you mean that since I've maxed out many credit cards and lived longer than any one person should beyond ones means in support of a fibre addiction I am secretly a gay man in a womans body??? It certainly explains so much! Next should I tell my husband?? perhaps not since he is the main financial source for my addiction. Seriously though I laughed really hard when I read that. Simply brilliant my dear! Thanks I needed that!

Linens2lace

MitchPR08's picture

Millard, I am indeed a gay

Millard,
I am indeed a gay man, but keep in mind I need to bring all this stuf back with me to the states, there is a luggage space problem there. I suppose I could give away some of my fat clothes, I dont need them anymore...BTW, I never even GOT a manual! Tell the Gay mafia to send me another one ASAP. I am just floored that when I came out 9 years ago nobody bothered to send me a muffin basket, gay manual etc. I'm hurt gay world...truly hurt.

Bill's picture

""you should know that while

""you should know that while you may have been given your temporary learner's permit, you're not even eligible for the toaster oven until you have maxed out at least 3 credit cards and lived beyond your means for no less than 5 years! Did you even READ the manual?""

THAT is one of the most brilliant things I've read in years!

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

Funny, very funny. Does

Funny, very funny. Does that mean I lose my credentials? Haven't done any of those things...just impulse bought too much yarn, needles, etc. -- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

albert's picture

Lay off the bratwurst- it

Lay off the bratwurst- it impairs judgement.

There should be a 12 step

There should be a 12 step plan for fibreholics, but until then just go with the flow. There are a great many of us like this and we can always justify going into a yarn shop and buying something we do not really need at that moment. Welcome to our world.

Live in your world. Play in

Live in your world. Play in mine!

Linens2lace

smalltownknitguy's picture

I Google the LYS when my

I Google the LYS when my wife and I are driving anywhere. I have to go in and look around. Sometimes I buy and sometimes I don't. I have a large stash that should keep me busy through my 40's (I'm 38 now).