We've got a search warrant for illegal yarn-overs, stash violations and row-outs in garter stitch. Put the needles down, your hands behind your back, stand against the wall and spread 'em!
Read this textile trash his rights, O'Malley, and search him for acrylics...I can smell a synth user a mile away.
Book him on a 3124, violations of the UN Year of Natural Fiber Unnatural Acts and Fibers code. INTER-PLY, the Police for Local Yarn violations has been following this guy for months.
Take his sorry frayed ass out of here.