Well I am actually blogging about something I totally love. I don't know how well this will go over, so be patient with me.
As I have grown older in years (but not in spirit) I tend to go back to "better times" One of these times was knitting.
It was a "hobby" that I took up when I was quite young. Mostly to fill those lonely times at home.
You see being gay in a very conservative part of the state is a very lonely. You feel pretty much alone. You would like to fit in (and believe me I tried)but for some reason the shoe didn't fit. It was like putting a pull over on the wrong way, you know your like wondering why your back feels cold, and you can't seem to get the neck just right.
So when I felt that way I moved to anything with needles. I've done everything needlepoint, crochet, tatting, and weaving. But the one thing that really stuck with me was knitting.
I suppose it was the comfort of the moment that drew me to it. When everyone in high school was going out on dates etc, i withdrew to the bedroom and knitted long scarfs, and endless lengths of stuff, never functional. I did it just to try and deal with the pain of what was happening. Something comforting about the feel of the yarn and the design I was attempted seemed to ease the pain.
In high school I attempted the first "out of the closet knitting" experience. We had two exchange students, one was from I think Sweden, and the other from Austria. Believe it or not the one from Austria was staying with a family across the street, so she was also going to my school. I knew some German(taking two years in junior and high school) so i could practice it and actually get to know someone new.
She was very worldly to my midwest thinking, she questioned EVERYTHING. She wondered why everyone was so caught up with religion. Sexuality was a puzzle to her too, she I guess never understood why there was so many virgins going around the school. I guess that too me ! She was so opposite of what I was living in, and i LOVED IT!
Anyway we rather "hung" out together during her visit. She was also the first one who actually asked me whether I was gay or not. Yes that was the terms she used. Not homosexual, or queer like my midwestern class mates like to use. It was perhaps the first time someone used the term in a positive way.
Your probably wondering what does this have to do with knitting. Well I knew at the end of the summer they were both leaving, and I wanted something to give them to remember me by. I had found a Hearts knitting pattern at the local dime store here in my community and knitted my mother a shaw from it. (I have that shaw still) so I thought I would knit each one a shawl prior to them leaving.
The young woman from Sweden got a pretty yellow one, and the one from Austria and light blue. I am not sure how I chose the colors. I knew I was taking a risk not from them but from the other classmates(who also attended the same church) but I took it.
When the time arrived to present it to them I was astonished! There was no ridicule no drawing back, simply no judgement, only hugs and kisses. That moment over the years kept in my memory.
To this day I do not know what happen to them. I think deep in my heart they both became wonderful women of grace and charm even to this day. And for me the risk of knitting made me stronger about who I was.