OT: guess what song I just unearthed at the nursing home...

WillyG's picture

This morning I was skimming through a dated collection of even more dated songs... we're talking reminiscing material for the century-old folks. I came across a "comic song with chorus" that does indeed strike me as mildly comical, but not in the way it was probably intended. (Or was it?) And now I share it with you, unaltered from the state in which I found it.

"Gay Young Clerk In A Dry-Goods Store"
To all gay young clerks.
As sung by Emerson Allen and Munning's Minstrels
Written and Composed by Will. S. Hays.

O listen now and I'll sing a song,
How are you ladies, Howdy;
I'll sing it all, for it won't take long,
Ah, ladies, ha-ha!
It's about a chap, perhaps you know, I'm told he is "Nobody's beau,"
But maybe you all knew that before,
He's a lively clerk in a Dry Goods Store.
O! Augustus Dolphus is his name,
From Skiddymadink they say he came,
He's a handsome man and he's proud and poor,
This gay young clerk in the Dry Goods Store.

His eyes they are of a dark sky blue,
How are you ladies, Howdy;
His hair light brown and mustache too,
Ah, ladies, ha-ha!
And he wears eye glasses on his nose,
And he never looks down at his toes,
For fear he'll fall on a cellar door,
This dashing clerk in a Dry Goods Store.
O! Augustus Dolphus is his name,
From Skiddymadink they say he came,
He's a handsome man and he's proud and poor,
This gay young clerk in the Dry Goods Store.

He wears side whiskers on his jaws,
How are you ladies, Howdy;
Won't none of you hear him for his cause,
Ah, ladies, ha-ha!
Why almost ev'ry lady knows
He's a nice young man, For he wears good clothes,
He's a handsome chap as I said before,
He's a gay young clerk in a Dry-Goods Store.
O! Augustus Dolphus is his name,
From Skiddymadink they say he came,
He's a handsome man and he's proud and poor,
This gay young clerk in the Dry Goods Store.

He smiles at all the girls he meets,
How are you ladies, Howdy;
And you smile at him on the crowded streets,
Ah, ladies, ha-ha!
Why don't you make him "come to taw,"
I know he wants a mother-in-law,
Do as your parents did before,
You... and the clerk in the Dry Goods Store.
O! Augustus Dolphus is his name,
From Skiddymadink they say he came,
He's a handsome man and he's proud and poor,
This gay young clerk in the Dry Goods Store.

Bill, we need a photo to go with this...

Comments

Aaronknits's picture

Hmm, lively, dashing,

Hmm, lively, dashing, handsome, snappy dresser, polite...yup, he's gay.

jessemkahn's picture

I have a collection of songs

I have a collection of songs called "Sissy Man Blues" that's all about early gay/queer writing in the teens to thirties. Even then, we knew how to talk in code. Heck, maybe especially then.

P.S. I've got a mother-in-law. Going cheap!

michaelpthompson's picture

Dream on guys. The song

Dream on guys. The song dates to 1868, long, long before the word "gay" had any sort of sexual connotation. And "looking for a mother-in-law" would be code for wanting a wife, so you're two counts down on the fantasy of a willing clerk in the Dry Goods store. :-)

--
"All knitting is just one stitch at a time."
Tallguy

WillyG's picture

Nonsense. It's all a ruse

Nonsense. It's all a ruse to throw the others off the scent...

QueerJoe's picture

Is the song-writer really

Is the song-writer really sure he wants a mother-in-law? Even if he was just "happy" I would doubt he'd really want a mother-in-law.

Aaronknits's picture

Hey now! I love my

Hey now! I love my mother-in-law. Or as you might say..mother-out-of-law. She's a lovely Italian woman and I love her even more since Thanksgiving when she admitted to me that my turkey soup is better than hers. Not an easy thing for an Italian mother-in-law to admit, I'm sure.

MMario's picture

That's a bit hard to

That's a bit hard to believe..... She really said that?

Either your soup is phenomanal or she really likes you. *grin* or both.

Aaronknits's picture

A little of both I think.

A little of both I think. I used to absolutely positively suck at making soup too. Her lasagna is still the absolute best though. There's no way I could even try to compete with that.