The Knitting Curmudgeon

scottly's picture

Sometimes I'm a b*tch and this is one of those times. I have a couple of women friends that knit stuff for craft fairs and won't use any yarn they can't find at Walmart - God forbid it has one natural fiber in it. Anyway, the most abohorent thing they knit is this:

It's a ghastly blend of nylon and more nylon knit on Land of the Giants size needles. They are so dime store looking and of course sell like hotcakes. It makes me want to vomit.

Comments

Darrel's picture

I think we need a knitting

I think we need a knitting humor forum now :)

Nashrunner's picture

Seeing this is sort of like

Seeing this is sort of like looking at a car accident as you pass by. You know you shouldn't be interested but somehow you just have to look. I live in middle Tennessee and with some women here, the beehive hair and gum popping has never died. This sort of thing would be like gold to some women that I (unfortunately) know.

I want to thank Scottly for

I want to thank Scottly for posting this, I have really enjoyed all the comments and have had a good laugh. I live in redneck country and I can see lots of the women round here wearing that. And dont hate me but I would like the pattern so I can get rid of that yarn I have.

scottly's picture

Stan, you don't need a

Stan, you don't need a pattern for this one. Just cast on 5 and make 1 stitch after the first stitch and before the last stitch on all odd numbered rows and knit unitl it is the width and length you want. It's all knitting - no purls or yarn overs or anything fun like that. Use a big needle maybe a 15, you may want to experiment with guage. Then if you really want to be tacky add fringe and as Bill suggests sequins for that final white trash touch. Have fun.

Mnjack's picture

Oh dear....... Now I'll have

Oh dear....... Now I'll have to find something to wear it with. It does need sequins though.

Oh you guys are killing me!!

Oh you guys are killing me!! No not me I don't have one of those white trash fashionista scarfs in my wardrobe...not that I would admit it now...yikes...
Linens2lace
http://linens2lace.blogspot.com

kevslocum's picture

I think it falls into the

I think it falls into the category of Juicy Couture. Just because some people can look decent in it doesn't mean YOU will look decent in it. And for god's sakes, if you can use needles for more than one type of enjoyment, you need to get smaller needles.

"Second, I will wear roller skates and leg-warmers!" "You should be as current as today's headlines!"

Thomasknits's picture

I lol'ed at the "if you can

I lol'ed at the "if you can use needles for more than one type of enjoyment." I will be passing that quote on, most definitely.
-Thomas

TheKnittingMill's picture

Dear Scott, this isn't bad

Dear Scott, this isn't bad at all. You need to come down here and visit so I can introduce you to some white trash! Then you will see some heinous stuff going on.

CRobertK's picture

Before reading, I took one

Before reading, I took one look at the picture and thought we had a drag queen in our midst. Now don't get me wrong, I've turned in my heels and hair years ago so I'm not bashing the queens, but that there is flashy classic queen material! :o)

Cory
formerly known as Felycia Taylor

-- Why live and let live when we can live and help live?

murfpapa's picture

Actually, I find the look

Actually, I find the look kind of interesting. I wonder if my ex is still doing drag...

rjcb3's picture

I'm glad I never wore that

I'm glad I never wore that kind of garbage when I did drag...not that I'm your ex or anything...

:)

steve kadel's picture

remember, we live at a time

remember, we live at a time where the kardashians define fashion

all i know of love, is love is all there is

rjcb3's picture

Awww...gee... Does that mean

Awww...gee...

Does that mean that I have to throw away ALL of the books and videos I have from that Zimmermann woman?

MMario's picture

Is that one of those ghastly

Is that one of those ghastly "railroad track" ribbon yarns?

scottly's picture

OMG, yes. It's horrific!

OMG, yes. It's horrific!

MMario's picture

looks like they took a steel

looks like they took a steel wool pad and and stretched it out into fabric.

I have tons of that type

I have tons of that type yarn got it for 25 cents a ball, NOW i know what to do with it. And I am with you they will sell like hot cakes, Maybe I will add some sequins to them That I bought in SF at the Bead store years ago.

Bradferd's picture

That will look PURTY!!! :)

That will look PURTY!!! :)

Bill's picture

Scott...you're just upset

Scott...you're just upset because they forgot the sequins. I would be too...